Dec 9, 2019
Communicating: How the holidays are a great opportunity to show your kids healthy communication skills.
0:19 Meet Caroline Maguire. She is an author and total communication badass. She talks about showing our children proper communication during this holiday season. Don’t wait to show your kiddos healthy communication skills. Have you thought about how you communicate? How about how your communication skills influence how your children will communicate.
2:20 Why Will No One Play With Me? A book Caroline wrote as a guide to help guide parents to help their children with communication. She shares her nuggets with you in this book. Communication has drastically changed over the last twenty years. Part of this change is due to social media and we have children that are much more scheduled and they play less. So, they have less time to practice social skills that are not scripted.
3:55 Parents be aware of how you are communicating. You are modeling for your kiddos. Kids notice everything. Instead of being a house divided be more litigious and set rules of best practices. Also, try putting yourself in others' shoes. We can always learn from each other and we need to listen. We need to talk about emotions and ask more questions.
6:55 Let’s stop jumping in to speak. Listen and then repeat or recap what the person said. This clarifying technique works so great with teenagers. Let’s not talk poorly about others. Anna Marie’s mom set a great example. Children are always listening.
8:35 Catch yourself! How your talking about the upcoming event or holiday get together. Talking poorly about others or speaking anxiously about an upcoming event can raise anxiety levels. This leads us into the festivities with a story we have already made up a story in our heads. This sets everyone up for stress.
10:05 We need to be more self-regulated. Are you self regulating your communications? What are your triggers? Check them and regulate them. Under pressure when you can self regulate you can communicate better.
11:18 Self-regulating skills. Know your triggers and take time to breathe, reflect, meditate, and reflect on your triggers if you already know them. We can’t control others but we can control how we respond vs. reacting.
12:49 How can you protect yourself from self-induced anxiety. Stop making up stories in your head. We all have stories around the holidays. These stories can turn any little comment into something way worse. We don't know what someone else is feeling.
12:14 Don't set yourself up for not having enough time to recoup. Give yourself time to recover events. Also, skip using words, “always” and “Never.” People will match your energy.
15:55 Parents use the holiday as an opportunity to teach your child communication. Get Carolines.
16:50 We all need coaches and we have more coaches today that are widely available and these coaches have more specific skills.
Get Caroline’s Book:
https://www.carolinemaguireauthor.com/
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Get Anna Marie’s Book (s): Stop Bullying Yourself!, B